What was it really like? Who were your buddies? What do you want at your service?
So many families tell me the same thing after a veteran dies: I wish I had asked. The stories they only told once at a holiday table. The name of the buddy they always mentioned. Whether they wanted Taps, or the flag, or just a quiet graveside. Once they're gone, those answers go with them.
I made Honor and Memory so those answers don't get lost. It's a book a veteran can fill in a few minutes at a time, even on tired days, so the people who love them have what matters most, in their own words.
Who It's For
Every branch, every era, and every kind of service: Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, Space Force, Coast Guard, Guard and Reserve, stateside or overseas, peacetime or combat. It's written directly to the veteran, but nobody has to do it alone.
- Every page is optional. Skip anything. Leave pages blank. Do it in any order.
- Someone else can do the writing. A son or daughter, a grandchild, a chaplain, or a hospice volunteer can ask the questions and write the answers down.
- It can be done out loud. If writing is too much, record the conversation on a phone. There's a page on recording their voice, because many families say the voice is what they miss most.
What's Inside
Their story
- Gentle prompts from hometown and basic training to buddies, deployments, the funny stories, and coming home
- Prompts for every era, from World War II and Korea to Vietnam, the Cold War, the Gulf, and post-9/11
- World and stateside maps to mark every place they served
- Their medals and what they mean, their military words, and the things civilians never understood
- The hard parts and the ones they lost, at their own pace, with no pressure to share and a lighter page always close by
Their wishes
- Letters to family, to the people they served with, and to grandchildren not yet born
- A one-page summary that helps hospice and care teams know the veteran as a person, not just a patient
- Health care papers, funeral honors, burial choices, keepsakes, pets, and what they stand for
Their family's next steps
- Where the DD-214 and other records are, VA claims and exposures, and how to avoid scams that target veteran families
- A plain checklist for the first weeks after, with the numbers to call
- Pages of their own for free writing and sketches
Benefit and honors information was checked against current VA and Department of Defense sources in October 2026.
A Few Minutes at a Time
You don't need a long afternoon. Pick one page. Ask one question over coffee, or during a quiet visit. "Where did you go to basic?" can turn into an hour of stories you've never heard. Old photos, medals, a map, or music from their service years can open doors that questions can't.
If time is short, there's a "If Time Is Short" page at the front that covers what matters most first.
Two Editions of Honor and Memory
This edition is made for veterans facing a serious illness or in hospice, with an "If Time Is Short" page, wishes, and pages for the care team. For a veteran at any stage of life, there's an everyday edition, Honor and Memory: A Veteran's Story Journal, focused on passing down their stories and wisdom to the next generation. Both are free, and both are on Amazon as paperbacks.
A Veterans Day Idea
This Veterans Day, instead of only saying thank you, ask. Print the first few pages, or give the paperback as a gift, and sit down together. The stories you hear could be the ones your grandchildren read someday.
For Hospices, Chaplains, and Veterans Organizations
Hospices, VA and community care teams, chaplains, Veteran Service Officers, and veterans organizations are welcome to print unaltered copies of the free PDF and give them to the veterans and families they serve, at no charge. It pairs with our free Honor and Comfort veteran care set for hospice teams and families. You can find more free resources on our For Hospice & Care Teams page.
More for Veteran Families
- Veterans Day Poems: Short, Thank-You & Acrostic Poems
- How to Write a Tribute for Your Veteran Loved One
- Military Funeral Honors: Who Qualifies and How to Arrange Them
- Original Poems for a Military Veteran's Funeral Program
- Military & Patriotic Funeral Program Templates
Please note: Honor and Memory offers general information and writing prompts. It is not medical, legal, or benefits advice, and it does not replace your hospice team, VA, or an accredited Veteran Service Officer. Veterans Crisis Line: dial 988, then press 1; text 838255; or chat at VeteransCrisisLine.net. In an emergency, call 911.
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