Honor and Comfort: A Veteran Care Set for Hospice Teams

My husband was a Navy veteran. When he died, my family and I worked out the VA, the honors and his burial at Riverside National Cemetery mostly on our own.

Your team can spare the families you serve from doing it alone. You already know how to care for the dying. Many of your veteran patients bring something extra with them: the years they spent in uniform, and everything that came home with them. Old memories that come back louder at night. Pain they won't admit to. Exposures that may have caused the illness in front of you. Benefits with deadlines the family has never heard of.

A nurse who asks the right question, an aide who explains before touching, or a social worker who catches a claim before it's lost can change how a veteran dies and how a family grieves. So I made Honor and Comfort, a set of tools for your whole team and the families you serve. Everything here is free.

Jump to: If you have ten minutes · What's in the set · Every veteran, every family · How it fits your work · Free to print

If You Only Have Ten Minutes

I know how stretched your days are. If you do nothing else this week, these four small steps reach the most families:

• Ask every patient, "Did you ever serve?" Some veterans never mention it unless asked, and some spouses and parents were never told the whole story. The one-page admission card shows how to ask and what to do with the answer.
• Put the Quick-Start in every veteran's admission packet. It gives the family this week's checklist, who to call, and the deadlines they're most likely to miss.
• Give your aides the pocket cards. Aides are often with a veteran more hours than anyone else on the team.
• Bring the funeral director sheet to a social work visit. Filled in early, it saves a family hours of searching on the hardest day.

What's in the Set

For your team

These are written for every discipline, from the medical director to the newest volunteer.

• Honor and Comfort Staff Guide ↓ (92 pages): asking "Did you ever serve?", the military history conversation, screening for trauma without causing harm, exposures, moral injury, military sexual trauma, suicide risk and firearms, a bedside sorting guide for trauma, delirium, pain or dying, trauma-informed personal care, TBI and dementia, the time-sensitive benefits list, where staff stop on benefits, and a ready-made 30-minute in-service with case studies and a knowledge check.
• Aide Pocket Cards ↓: four cut-out pocket cards, a fold-and-tape version, and a one-page bedside flowchart for CNAs, hospice aides, home health aides and volunteers who give hands-on care.
• "Did You Ever Serve?" Admission Card ↓ (1 page): the question, the follow-ups, what never to ask, and what a "yes" sets in motion for each discipline. Sized for an intake clipboard.
• In-Service Agenda and Sign-In ↓ (1 page): the 30-minute agenda, a sign-in sheet with before-and-after confidence, and "one change I'll make," ready for your training records.
• Writing to a Veteran's Family ↓ (1 page): wording for the first bereavement letter and the cards that follow, including military holidays, and where to point families after your year of support ends.
• Admitting a Younger Veteran: What to Ask in the First Week ↓ (1 page): for the veteran in their 30s, 40s or 50s, often with children at home and a spouse still working. Service and exposures, claims, life insurance while the veteran can still sign, and the kids.
• Bringing This Set to Your Agency ↓: a one-page overview for your director, with a 30-second pitch and answers to the questions leadership usually asks.
• Vet-to-Vet Visitor Pocket Guide ↓: four cut-out cards for veteran volunteers (before you visit, getting them talking, if memories get heavy, honoring and goodbyes), plus a page for volunteer coordinators.
• An Honoring Ceremony for a Veteran ↓: a ceremony kit for teams that aren't part of We Honor Veterans, or as a supplement: planning checklist, a script for staff or chaplains, a family version, words for every branch, and a printable certificate. No pins needed.

For families

Families are often running on very little sleep. These are short where they can be, and every one can be handed over at a visit or mailed.

• Quick-Start ↓: a short day-one handout for the admission packet of every patient who served: this week's checklist, who to call, papers to find, and deadlines families miss (Spanish: Inicio rápido).
• Honor and Comfort: A Family Guide When a Veteran Is in Hospice ↓ (169 pages; large print). Bedside care, benefits, the last days, honors and the months after. Read about the family guide.
• While There's Still Time ↓: a two-page checklist for younger veteran families, with a Spanish version linked from When a Younger Veteran Is in Hospice.
• When the Past Comes Back ↓: a short family guide for when war memories return near the end of life (large print; Spanish; Spanish large print). Families can read more in When Old War Memories Come Back.
• Before I Go In: A Plan for Hard Visits ↓: for the grown child whose parent's PTSD shaped their childhood and who dreads walking into the room (version for any family). A gentle thing for a social worker to offer.
• Sitting With Someone Who's Scared ↓: for families keeping company with fear at the bedside, with questions for the chaplain or social worker (Spanish).
• Questions to Ask Before You Choose a Hospice ↓: for families still choosing, including questions about care for veterans (Spanish). Good for VA liaisons and community outreach.
• Give This to Your Funeral Director ↓: a one-page fill-in for the death certificate, honors and burial benefits. Fillable version ↓ · Spanish ↓
• Honor and Memory: a book for the veteran to tell their story and leave words for family, for legacy work with chaplains and volunteers. Ten Questions to Ask Your Veteran ↓ is a one-page way to start.
• After a Veteran Dies: The First 30 Days ↓: a two-page handout for bereavement mailings: first calls, survivor benefits and deadlines.
• Military Honors at the Service ↓: a guest page explaining the honors, plus funeral program wording.
• Someone I Love Served ↓: a keepsake activity book for children ages 5 to 11 in veteran families.

Every Veteran, Every Family

Not every veteran fits the picture people carry in their heads, and the families who fall outside it are often the ones who get the least help. A few I hope you'll keep in mind:

Women veterans, who may never have been asked if they served, and men and women who carry military sexual trauma. The Staff Guide and the family guide both cover how to ask gently and what help exists. Younger veterans, whose families face a job, children and a mortgage all at once. Veterans whose discharge wasn't honorable, for any reason; many families assume there's no help at all, and that isn't always true (our family guide to care, burial and upgrades). Veterans who are dying in prison, and the families trying to reach them (a family guide).

Veterans with no family nearby, where a Vet-to-Vet volunteer or a vigil volunteer may be the only visitor. Families of every faith and none (our faith and culture guides for hospice teams). And Spanish-speaking families: the day-one Quick-Start, the funeral director sheet and several family handouts now come in Spanish, marked above.

How It Fits Work You Already Do

None of this asks you to start a new program. It's meant to slip into what you're already doing.

Staff orientation and in-service. The Staff Guide's 30-minute in-service, case studies and knowledge check make a veterans session easy to run and document.

Aide in-service hours. A veterans session using the Aide Pocket Cards may count toward your aides' yearly in-service hours, if your educator approves.

Admission and social work. The Quick-Start goes in every veteran's admission packet, and the funeral director sheet goes to social work visits. For a younger veteran, add the first-week questions.

Chaplains and volunteers. Honor and Memory and Ten Questions give legacy and life review work a ready-made place to start.

Training records. The In-Service Agenda and Sign-In documents who attended and what they'll change.

Bereavement. Writing to a Veteran's Family gives your team the words, and After a Veteran Dies: The First 30 Days fits in the first mailing.

Free to Print and Share

Every piece is free, with no sign-up and no license. Print unaltered copies on your own printers for the patients, families and staff you serve. Please don't sell them or have them professionally printed in bulk.

Benefit numbers, forms and deadlines were checked against VA.gov, the National Cemetery Administration, the National Archives, CMS and federal law in October 2026. VA amounts change every October 1, so we recheck each year. The set has not had a formal clinical review, so please follow your own policies and clinical judgment.

Would you like your hospice's name and contacts added? We can make a personalized version. Send us a request.

Thank You

Families don't always remember the names of the people who helped them through those weeks. They remember how they were treated. The nurse who called him by his rank because he liked it. The aide who said, "I'm going to turn you now," before she touched him. The social worker who found the paper they didn't know they needed.

That's you. Thank you for the care you give to those who served, and to the people who love them.

More Help

• For Hospice & Care Teams: all our free resources
• The Hospice Staff Library
• When a Veteran Is in Hospice: a guide for families
• When a Younger Veteran Is in Hospice
• When Old War Memories Come Back Near the End of Life
• Military Funeral Honors: Who Qualifies and How to Arrange Them

Please note: Honor and Comfort shares general information and training material. It is not medical, legal or benefits advice and does not replace your agency's policies, VA, or an accredited Veterans Service Officer, who helps families file claims for free.

Veterans Crisis Line: dial 988, then press 1; text 838255; or chat at VeteransCrisisLine.net. In an emergency, call 911.

With care,
C. Lindorfer, Noted & Charmed