If you only have a moment
The easiest way to keep a veteran's stories is to begin small, with one page or one question over coffee, like where they went to basic, and let it lead wherever it goes. Every branch and every kind of service counts, and they can skip anything they'd rather leave alone; if a hard memory surfaces, you only need to stay near. Once the stories are down on paper, make copies so a move or a flood can't take them.
Where did you go to basic? Who was your best buddy? What's the funniest thing that ever happened on duty?
Most of us have a veteran in our lives whose stories we've only heard in pieces. A line at Thanksgiving. A nickname nobody explains. A buddy's name that comes up once and then goes quiet. My husband was a Navy veteran, so I know how much of a person can live inside those years, and how easy it is to think there will always be another chance to ask.
That's why I made Honor and Memory: A Veteran's Story Journal. A veteran can fill it in a little at a time while life is still full and busy, so their service, their wisdom and their words get passed down in their own voice. Below you'll find what's inside, how to start together, what to do if hard memories come up, and how to keep their story safe long after the last page is filled.
Jump to: Who it's for · What's inside · Starting together · If hard memories come up · Keeping it safe · Making it work · Two editions · This Veterans Day · For organizations
Who It's For
Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, Space Force, Coast Guard, Guard and Reserve. Wartime or peacetime, overseas or stateside, a few years or a whole career. If they served, their story counts.
Every page is optional. They can skip anything, leave pages blank, and go in any order. Ten or fifteen minutes at a time is plenty.
It doesn't have to sound like a recruiting poster. The boring days, the funny days, the hard days and the mixed feelings all belong in it.
Someone else can do the writing. A grandchild can read the questions aloud and write the answers, or record the stories on a phone. There are tips for helpers in the back.
They decide who reads it. A "Who May Read This Book" page lets them choose what gets shared, and when.
What's Inside
Before the uniform, and in it
It starts where they came from and why they joined, with a timeline of their service. Then come basic training, their job, and the places they served, with world and stateside maps to mark. There are prompts for every era and branch, for gear and uniforms, for a day in their life, and for the military words the rest of us never understood. Pages for the people they served with, the funny stories, what they were proud of, and what their medals mean lead into letters home, deployments, coming home and life after the uniform.
What stayed with them
Some pages are gentle places for the hard memories, the people they lost, making peace, and faith. Every one of them is optional, with help close by. There are also pages for women veterans, former prisoners of war, service that was complicated, and the traditions of their own community.
Words for the next generation
The last part holds what life taught them, what they're proudest of, and "Questions My Family May Never Think to Ask." There are letters to the people they served with, to family, to a child or grandchild, and "To Young People Thinking About Serving." It closes with where their papers are, their VA claims and exposures, their keepsakes, stories others tell about them, photo pages, and more than 30 pages of their own for free writing.
Benefit information in the journal was checked against current VA and Department of Defense sources in October 2026.
How to Start Together
You don't need a free afternoon or a list of perfect questions. You just need a first one.
Start small. Pick one page, or ask one question over coffee. "Where did you go to basic?" can turn into an hour of stories you've never heard. If you'd like a simple place to begin, our free Ten Questions to Ask Your Veteran is two pages with room to write their answers (large print · en español · letra grande). If you're the one asking, our one-page Sitting Down With Your Veteran: A Helper's Page has the how: getting ready, gentle follow-up questions, what to do if emotions come up, and a box to note each visit (en español).
Bring something to hold. Old photos, a map, a patch, or music from their service years can open doors that questions can't. The Library of Congress suggests looking at old photographs together to bring memories back.
Let them lead, and let the hardest subjects be theirs to bring up. The Veterans History Project puts it simply: the veteran's comfort always comes first, and it's fine to pause or stop whenever they want. Ask about the people, the places and the proud moments, and follow where they take you. If they'd rather not talk about their service at all, that's their answer, and it deserves respect too.
If memory is fading, follow their story instead of correcting it. Doctors at Ohio State's Wexner Medical Center advise not to correct or argue with someone who has dementia, and not to quiz them with "Do you remember when...?" Give them time to answer. You can write the facts from the DD-214 in the margin later.
If Hard Memories Come Up
Sometimes one question opens a door you didn't expect. That's okay. You don't have to fix anything. Just stay close.
For some veterans, memories of their service come back more often later in life, even after decades of doing fine. Researchers who study aging veterans found that retirement, illness and losing a spouse or old friends can stir them up, and that for many, looking back is part of making sense of a whole life. Our post When Old War Memories Come Back Near the End of Life explains more, and our short card When the Past Comes Back can help the family understand what's happening (large print · en español · letra grande).
Turn to a lighter page, like the funny stories or the photos, and come back another day, or never. If nightmares, fear or guilt seem to be getting worse, the Veterans Crisis Line is there for veterans and for the families and friends who worry about them, even if the veteran isn't enrolled in VA care: dial 988, then press 1, or text 838255.
Keeping Their Story Safe for Good
A finished journal is a treasure, and it's also one copy in one house. A little care now means it can't be lost to a move, a flood or a forgotten box.
Make copies first. Scan the pages or take clear photos of them with a phone, and keep a copy with someone in another home. If the stories were recorded, save the files in two places.
The Veterans History Project. The Library of Congress collects first-person stories from veterans of every era since World War I, combat or not, and family members can do the interview. A collection needs at least one of these: a recorded interview of 30 minutes or more, at least 20 pages of written memoir, or at least 10 original photos or letters. A filled journal can be a wonderful start toward any of the three. Questions go to vohp@loc.gov or 888-371-5848, and our step-by-step guide, How to Record a Veteran's Story for the Veterans History Project, walks you through it.
My Life, My Story. At 75 VA medical facilities, this VA program interviews veterans and writes a short life story the veteran can share with family. With the veteran's permission, it becomes part of their VA medical record, so their care team knows them as a person. Veterans need to be enrolled in VA health care. Ask your VA medical center for the program coordinator, or email mystory@va.gov. Learn about My Life, My Story.
Someday, an online memorial. After a veteran dies, VA's National Cemetery Administration gives many veterans an online Veterans Legacy Memorial page, where family and friends can share stories and memories. The journal's stories can live there too.
Making It Work for Your Family
Short on ink or paper? Print only the pages you need, or ask your local library about printing. The paperback is there if 144 pages is too much for a home printer.
Hands, eyes or energy not what they were? Let someone else write while the veteran talks, or record the conversation instead. A voice on a phone can be as precious as handwriting.
Far away? Ask the questions by phone or video call and record it, with their okay. Or mail the paperback with a few pages marked and a stamped envelope for the pages they want to send back.
A family that speaks Spanish? The Ten Questions card comes in Spanish, in regular and large print, so a grandparent and grandchild can each read along in the language that feels like home.
A complicated discharge or a hard history? Every veteran's story belongs here. There's a page for service that was complicated, and no one has to explain anything they don't want to. If the discharge itself is weighing on the family, our guide When Your Veteran's Discharge Wasn't Honorable explains what may still be possible.
A school project? If a grandchild needs to interview a veteran for class, the Ten Questions card and the Helper's Page are gentle places to start, and the answers can go straight into the journal afterward.
Two Editions of Honor and Memory
This Story Journal is for any veteran, at any stage of life. If a veteran you love is facing a serious illness or is in hospice, there's an edition made for that time, with an "If Time Is Short" page, their wishes, and pages for the care team: Honor and Memory: A Book for Veterans to Leave Their Story, Wishes, and Words for Family. Both are free, and both come as paperbacks on Amazon.
Want the practical side on paper too? My Service, Wishes, and Papers is four free pages for service details, funeral honors and burial wishes, and where the DD-214 and other papers are kept (fillable version).
This Veterans Day, Ask
Saying thank you matters. But this year, maybe go one step further and ask. Give the paperback, or print the first few pages, and sit down together. You may hear a story no one in the family has ever heard, told in the voice you'll want to remember.
If you're not sure where to begin, our post Questions to Ask a Veteran This Veterans Day (and the Ones to Let Them Bring Up) has gentle ones to start with, and a few to let them bring up on their own.
It makes a meaningful gift for a retirement, a birthday, or Father's or Mother's Day, too. And if the pages stay half empty, that's all right. Whatever they write is more than you had before.
If your veteran has already died and November feels heavy, When Veterans Day Is Hard is a gentler place to start.
For Veterans Organizations, Schools, and Libraries
Veterans organizations, VA and community programs, schools, libraries, hospices and chaplains are welcome to print unaltered copies of the free PDF and give them to the people they serve, at no charge. Please share the link to this page rather than the file.
Teachers and youth leaders: our one-page Interviewing a Veteran: A Kind Classroom Guide covers inviting a veteran, good questions and ones to leave for them, making room for students whose own families are hurting, and the Library of Congress rules for student interviews. You'll find more on our For Hospice & Care Teams page.
More Help
- When Veterans Day Is Hard (if your veteran has died)
- How to Record a Veteran's Story for the Veterans History Project
- Questions to Ask a Veteran This Veterans Day (and the Ones to Let Them Bring Up)
- Honor and Memory: A Book for Veterans to Leave Their Story, Wishes, and Words for Family
- When Old War Memories Come Back Near the End of Life
- Veterans Day Poems: Short, Thank-You & Acrostic Poems
- How to Write a Tribute for Your Veteran Loved One
- All our free printables
Please note: Honor and Memory and this post offer general information and writing prompts. They are not medical, mental health, legal or benefits advice, and they don't replace VA, an accredited Veterans Service Officer, or a counselor. Programs and contacts change, so please confirm before you act.
Veterans Crisis Line: dial 988, then press 1; text 838255; or chat at VeteransCrisisLine.net. In an emergency, call 911.
Download the Story Journal free (PDF) · Order the paperback · See all our books
These resources are free, always. If this helped your family and you'd like to say thank you, you can leave a small gift.
With care,
C. Lindorfer, Noted & Charmed