The weeks and months after a grandparent dies can feel quiet and strange for a young child. The visits stop, the phone calls stop, and the big feelings come and go in waves. Children ages 3 to 7 often understand love best through things they can see, touch, and do. These gentle ideas can help a little one stay connected to Grandma or Grandpa while learning that love doesn’t end when someone dies.
Grief comes and goes, and that’s okay
Young children often grieve in short bursts. A child may cry at bedtime, then laugh at breakfast, then ask about Grandma again a week later as if hearing the news for the first time. Grief experts sometimes call this “puddle jumping.” It is normal. Both kinds of days, the sad ones and the playful ones, are okay.
Plant something together
Planting is a gentle way to show a child that love keeps growing. Choose seeds or bulbs together, perhaps a flower Grandma loved, and plant them in a pot or a corner of the yard. Over the weeks, your child can water them, watch for sprouts, and see something new grow. It also gives you an easy, natural moment to talk: “Grandma loved sunflowers. I think she’d be happy we planted these.”
If the seeds don’t come up, that’s okay too. You can plant again together. The point is the time spent remembering.
A keepsake to hold
A small object a child can carry, like a stone, a button, a seed packet, or a photo in a little pouch, can be a comfort on hard days. Some children like to hold it at school or at bedtime. Let your child choose it if you can. Something that belonged to their grandparent can be extra special.
A memory box
Gather a shoebox or small tin and fill it together: photos, a card Grandpa wrote, a scarf that still smells like Grandma, drawings, ticket stubs, recipe cards. Children can decorate the outside. When they miss their grandparent, they can open the box, hold the things inside, and remember.
Keep telling their stories
Children learn who someone was through stories. Say their grandparent’s name often. Share the funny things, the favorite foods, the songs they sang. Ask relatives to tell a story or write one down. Looking through photos together, or cooking Grandma’s special recipe, keeps the memories warm.
Mark special days
Birthdays, holidays, and the anniversary of the death can bring grief back. Plan something small ahead of time, like lighting a candle, visiting a favorite place, or simply sharing a favorite memory at dinner. Children feel safer when they know these days have a plan.
When they ask, “Will you die too?”
After a death, many children worry about losing someone else. Give a short, honest, comforting answer: “Most people live a long, long time. I plan to be here to take care of you for a very long time.” Keeping routines steady, like meals, bedtime, and school, also helps a child feel safe again.
When to reach out for more help
Talk with your child’s doctor, school counselor, or your hospice bereavement team if big changes in sleep, eating, behavior, or school last for weeks. If a child talks about wanting to die or to be with the person who died, take it seriously, ask directly, and call or text 988 (in the U.S.) for guidance.
Free help for families
Our free Remembering My Grandparent memory pages are made to fill in together, and the Carrying You With Me workbook for kids 5 to 11 has activities for children after an illness loss. If you’re still preparing to tell your child, see How to Tell a Young Child That a Grandparent Died After an Illness.
A story that can help
For a child grieving a grandpa, The Pebble in My Pocket tells a companion story about a little otter and Grandpa’s striped pebble.
A comfort and support resource, not a substitute for professional care. In a crisis, call or text 988.