Most of us would rather not think about our own funeral. But anyone who has planned one for someone they love knows how many questions come up in those first hard days: Would she want a church service? Did he want to be buried or cremated? What was that hymn she always sang? Families often make those decisions while exhausted and grieving, and many are left wondering whether they got it right.
Writing down your wishes ahead of time is one of the kindest things you can do for the people you love. It isn’t morbid. It’s a way of taking care of them, one last time, and making sure the goodbye feels like you.
Three printable pages. No email or sign-up needed.
Start Small
You don’t have to plan every detail, and you don’t have to do it all at once. Even a few sentences, like “I’d like to be cremated” or “please play ‘Amazing Grace,’” can spare your family hours of second-guessing. Fill in what matters to you and leave the rest for them to decide.
What to Think About
The Kind of Goodbye You Want
A traditional funeral, a memorial service, a simple graveside gathering, or a celebration of life with stories and laughter. Would you like it at your church, a funeral home, or somewhere that meant something to you? Who would you like to lead it?
Burial or Cremation
This is often the biggest question families face. If you have a preference, including where you’d like to rest or where you’d like your ashes scattered, write it down. If you’re a veteran, note whether you’d like military honors.
Music, Readings, and Who Will Speak
The songs you love, a favorite verse or poem, and the people you’d want to read or share a few words. These are the details that make a service feel personal, and the hardest for a family to guess.
Your Program and Keepsakes
Is there a photo you’d like people to remember you by? Colors, flowers, or themes that feel like you? A quote for the cover? Would you like prayer cards or a slideshow? Knowing these small things can make a family feel they honored you exactly right.
Things You’d Like Said About You
Some people write their own obituary. Others simply jot down what they’d want mentioned: the work they were proud of, the places they loved, the people who shaped them. Either way, it helps your family tell your story the way you’d tell it.
Where Your Important Papers Are
Your will, life insurance, any prepaid funeral or cemetery plan, and military discharge papers (DD-214) if you served. A family can lose days searching. A single line telling them where to look is a real gift.
A Message to the People You Love
This part is optional, and it may be the most meaningful. A few words of love, a thank-you, a blessing, or something you want them to remember. Many families say a note like this becomes their most treasured keepsake.
How to Share Your Wishes
- Tell someone you trust that you’ve written your wishes down, and where to find them.
- Keep a copy with your important papers, not locked away where no one can reach it.
- Talk about it, if you can. The conversation is often easier than people expect, and it can bring real peace.
- Update it now and then. Wishes change, and that’s okay.
Please note: a wishes worksheet helps your family understand what you want, but it isn’t a legal document or a will. For legal or financial arrangements, or to prepay for a service, speak with an attorney or your local funeral home.
Choosing Your Program Ahead of Time
Some people like to choose the program design they’d want, so their family has one less decision to make. You can browse our designs, note your favorite on the worksheet, and your family will know right where to find it.
Browse Program Designs →You May Also Find Helpful
- Free Funeral Planning Checklist (Printable PDF)
- What to Include in a Celebration of Life
- Funeral Quotes for a Program
- Faith-Based Poems for a Funeral Program
- How to Plan a Military Funeral: A Family Guide
- Memorial Resource Library
Thank you for thinking of the people you love. — Noted & Charmed