How to Plan a Military Funeral: A Family Guide

Rows of white marble headstones at Arlington National Cemetery with small American flags placed at each grave — header image for a guide to planning a military funeral

Planning a funeral is never easy. Planning a military funeral — with its protocols, honors, and moving parts — can feel especially overwhelming when you are already carrying the weight of grief.

This guide is here to help. It walks you through every step of planning a military funeral, from the first phone calls to the final farewell, and connects you to the detailed resources you need along the way.

Quick answer: Every honorably discharged veteran is entitled to military funeral honors at no cost — a two-person honor guard, flag folding and presentation, and Taps. Your funeral director requests this on your behalf using the veteran's DD-214. Start there, then use the resources below for the rest of the planning.

Don't Want to Build the Program Yourself?

Between the honors paperwork, the funeral home, and everything else on this list, building the program yourself may be one task too many. We can build it for you — you choose the pages and content, our team assembles a print-ready program. Starting at $50.

See Done-For-You Options →

Jump to a section:
The First 24 HoursChoosing a Funeral HomeRequesting Military HonorsThe Funeral ProgramUnderstanding the CeremonyPersonalizing the ServiceAfter the FuneralFull Resource Guide


The First 24 Hours

In the immediate aftermath of a veteran’s passing, there are a few things to prioritize:

  • Locate the DD-214. The key document for arranging military honors and burial benefits. If you cannot find it, don’t panic — it can be replaced. See: Military Funeral Honors: Who Qualifies and How to Arrange Them.
  • Contact a funeral home. Choose a director experienced with military funerals. They will coordinate honors, burial location, and logistics.
  • Notify the veteran’s branch of service if the death occurred on active duty. Your funeral director can help.
  • Contact the VA regarding burial allowances, headstones, and national cemetery eligibility.

You do not need to have everything figured out immediately. Take it one step at a time.


Choosing a Funeral Home

Ask any funeral home you consider: Have you coordinated military honors before? Are you familiar with the DD-214 and VA burial benefits? Can you help arrange burial at a national cemetery? A director experienced with military funerals will know how to navigate the honors system, VA paperwork, and branch-specific requirements.


Requesting Military Honors

Every honorably discharged veteran is entitled to military funeral honors at no cost — two uniformed service members, flag folding and presentation, and Taps. Your funeral director submits the request on your behalf.

👉 Military Funeral Honors: Who Qualifies and How to Arrange Them


The Funeral Program

A military funeral program typically includes the veteran’s name, branch, dates of service, and rank; a photo; the order of service; a poem or tribute; a note about the honors being rendered; and acknowledgments.

All templates at Noted & Charmed are Canva-editable. Noted & Charmed offers three complete veteran suites (program, guest book, prayer card, bookmark, thank you card): Home of the Brave (classic red, white & blue), Duty & Honor (Army-focused, bold and traditional), and Honor and Service (navy and gold, understated). Or browse the full Military & Patriotic collection.

Prefer to have it built for you? See the Done-For-You program service — you choose the pages, we assemble it.


Understanding the Ceremony

The standard sequence: arrival of the honor guard → processional and flag placement → opening remarks → readings and eulogy → military honors (rifle volley, Taps, flag folding, flag presentation) → closing and recessional.

👉 Understanding the Order of Service for a Military Funeral
👉 Step-by-Step: What Happens at a Military Funeral

The Military Honors in Detail


Personalizing the Service

Military protocol and personal tribute can coexist beautifully. Display medals, photographs, and uniform items; include the veteran’s favorite music; invite comrades to share stories; choose poems that reflect their branch or faith.

👉 Personalizing a Military Funeral While Honoring Tradition
👉 Original Poems for a Military Veteran’s Funeral Program
👉 Poems for a Female Veteran’s Funeral Program
👉 Quotes for a Military Veteran’s Funeral Program


After the Funeral

  • The flag — belongs to the family. Many display it in a shadow box alongside medals and photographs.
  • VA benefits — contact the VA regarding burial allowances, survivor benefits, and headstone requests.
  • Thank the honor guard — a written note is always appreciated and never expected.
  • Extra programs — order more than you think you need. Families often wish they had.
  • Grief support — the VA, American Legion, and veterans’ service organizations offer resources for families.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is military funeral honors free?
Yes. Every honorably discharged veteran is entitled to military funeral honors at no cost, including a two-person honor guard, flag folding and presentation, and Taps. Your funeral director submits the request on your behalf.

What document do I need to request military honors?
The DD-214 (Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty) is the key document. If it can't be located, it can be replaced — a funeral home experienced with military funerals can guide you through that process.

How soon after a death can a military funeral be held?
There's no fixed rule — timing depends on the funeral home, cemetery availability (especially for national cemeteries, which can have a waiting period), and the family's needs. Requesting military honors and starting VA paperwork early helps avoid delays.

Do I need to contact the VA myself, or does the funeral home handle it?
A funeral home experienced with military funerals typically submits the honors request and can help with VA paperwork, but the family (or next of kin) usually needs to directly contact the VA regarding burial allowances, survivor benefits, and headstone requests.

What happens to the flag after the funeral?
The folded flag belongs to the family. Many choose to display it in a shadow box alongside medals, photographs, and the shell casings from the rifle volley.


Full Resource Guide

Planning & Honors

The Ceremony Explained

Personalizing the Service

Poems & Tributes

The Funeral Program

© Noted & Charmed. This guide is intended for informational purposes to help families navigate military funeral planning with confidence. Sending comfort and heartfelt condolences.