A military funeral follows a precise protocol — but that protocol governs only the military honors portion of the service. Everything surrounding it belongs entirely to the family. The civilian service, the music, the readings, the program, the reception — all of it can and should reflect the person who served.
Personalization is not a departure from tradition. It is an extension of it.
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What Can Be Personalized • Music • Readings & Poems • Involving Family Members • Photos & Memorabilia • The Funeral Program • The Reception • A Note on Protocol
What Can Be Personalized
The military honors — the rifle volley, flag folding, Taps, and flag presentation — follow strict protocol and cannot be altered. Everything else is yours to shape:
- The officiant and the tone of the service (religious, secular, or military-themed)
- Music before, during, and after the civilian service
- Readings, poems, eulogies, and personal tributes
- Display tables with photos, medals, uniforms, and memorabilia
- The funeral program design and content
- The reception or gathering afterward
Music
Music is one of the most powerful ways to personalize a military funeral. The military honors include Taps, but the civilian service can include any music the family chooses.
- A hymn or faith-based song that held meaning for the veteran
- A favorite song from their era — big band, country, classic rock, gospel
- The anthem of their branch of service (The Army Goes Rolling Along, Anchors Aweigh, The Marines' Hymn, The Air Force Song, Semper Paratus)
- A piece of instrumental music played softly as guests are seated
- A recording of a song the veteran loved, played during the reception
Live music — a soloist, a small ensemble, or even a family member who plays — adds a deeply personal dimension that a recording cannot replicate.
Readings & Poems
The civilian service is the right place for personal readings. These can be delivered by family members, friends, fellow veterans, or the officiant.
- Scripture or faith-based readings meaningful to the veteran
- A poem chosen by the family — or written for the occasion
- The veteran's own words — a letter, a journal entry, a favorite quote
- Their branch creed or unit motto, read aloud by a fellow service member
- A tribute written by a child or grandchild
If the veteran served in a specific era or branch, poems written for that context carry particular weight. Our Military Veteran Poem Collection includes original poems organized by theme — ceremony, service, farewell, and legacy — that can be read aloud or printed in the program.
Involving Family Members
Participation gives grieving family members a sense of purpose and connection during the service.
- Ask a child or grandchild to carry flowers or place them on the casket
- Invite a sibling or close friend to deliver a eulogy or read a poem
- Have a fellow veteran share a memory or read the branch creed
- Ask family members to choose the music or a specific reading
- Create a slideshow that a grandchild helps assemble
Even small acts of participation — holding the program, lighting a candle, placing a flower — can be deeply meaningful for children who are old enough to attend but may not fully understand what is happening.
Photos & Memorabilia
A display table near the entrance or beside the casket gives guests a place to pause and remember the veteran as a full person — not just a service member.
- Photos from their service years alongside civilian life photos
- Their dress uniform, cap, or boots
- Medals, ribbons, and commendations (framed or displayed in a shadow box)
- A branch flag or unit flag
- Personal items — a favorite book, a fishing rod, a tool, a jersey
- A guest book for attendees to leave messages for the family
These displays invite guests into the veteran's story before the service begins and give family members something to look at during difficult moments.
The Funeral Program
The funeral program is the most lasting printed keepsake from the service. It should reflect both the military honors and the personal life of the veteran.
- A cover photo — in uniform, in civilian life, or both
- The veteran's name, rank, branch, dates of service, and dates of birth and death
- The order of service, clearly organized
- A chosen poem or tribute
- A brief biography or personal tribute paragraph
- Photos on the interior pages
- A closing line or quote on the back cover
All templates at Noted & Charmed are Canva-editable and can be personalized in minutes. Our Military & Patriotic collection includes designs built specifically for a veteran's memorial — flag motifs, branch-specific designs, and dignified layouts that honor both the service and the person.
The Reception
The reception is entirely outside military protocol and entirely within the family's hands. It is often where the most personal remembrance happens — stories shared over food, laughter alongside tears, the informal gathering of people who loved the same person.
- Serving the veteran's favorite food or drink
- Playing their favorite music in the background
- Setting up a memory table with photos and mementos
- Providing index cards for guests to write a memory to give to the family
- Displaying a branch flag or framed photo at the entrance
A Note on Protocol
The military honors are not negotiable — they follow Department of Defense guidelines and are conducted by the honor guard according to branch protocol. Families should not attempt to modify the honors sequence, add elements to the military portion, or ask the honor guard to pause or repeat any element.
If a family has specific wishes — a particular bugler, a live performance of Taps, a specific branch anthem — these should be discussed with the funeral director well in advance. Some requests can be accommodated; others cannot. The earlier the conversation, the better.
Everything outside the honors is yours. Use it well.
Related Resources
- Understanding the Order of Service for a Military Funeral
- The Meaning Behind Military Funeral Traditions
- Step-by-Step: What Happens at a Military Funeral
- Original Poems for a Military Veteran's Funeral Program
- Poems for a Female Veteran's Funeral Program
© Noted & Charmed. This guide is intended for informational purposes to help families honor their veteran with confidence and care. Sending comfort and heartfelt condolences.