Time Together: Bedside Activities for Hospice Families (Free Guide)

When someone you love is in hospice, the hours at the bedside can feel both very long and far too short. Many families want to do something with that time and aren't sure what. This free guide offers gentle, research-informed ideas for sharing stories, music, comfort, and keepsakes, at whatever pace the day allows.

What's Inside the Family Guide

The guide starts with one simple question: How much energy do they have today? Whether your loved one is awake and talking, tiring easily, or no longer responding, it points you to ideas that fit that day. Inside you'll find:

• Talking about their life: gentle life-story prompts, and how to share memories with someone who has dementia
• Recording their voice: easy phone tips and questions worth recording
• Music at the bedside: a playlist worksheet and "songs for every moment"
• Comfort through touch and the senses: a simple hand massage, reading aloud, familiar scents
• Celebrations and small wishes: early birthdays, favorite tastes, and bringing far-away family close
• Keepsakes: handprints, hand-in-hand photos, recipes, and how to ask kindly
• Words to leave behind and words to say: pages for their words, and for yours
• When it's complicated: support for strained relationships, with no pressure
• Children at the bedside: how to prepare them, and activities by age
• When they can no longer respond, plus a page on mixed feelings and caring for yourself

What the Research Tells Us

They may still hear you. A University of British Columbia study measured brain activity in hospice patients and found that some patients' brains still responded to sound in their last hours, even after they could no longer respond. The study was small, and it can't tell us how much a person understands. Still, it supports what hospice nurses have long seen: a loved one's voice seems to comfort. (UBC research summary)

Telling their story is a gift to the family. In a large trial of Dignity Therapy, a bedside approach to life review, patients said it helped their families and changed how their families saw and appreciated them. (Trial summary)

Families can learn gentle touch. In a National Cancer Institute-funded study, family caregivers who learned simple, light massage helped ease their loved one's symptoms, and they felt more confident caring for them. (Study)

Feeling prepared can ease grief later. Caregivers who felt more prepared for a death had less complicated grief afterward. Being prepared doesn't mean being ready to let go. It means knowing what to expect, and having spent your time in ways that felt meaningful. (Study)

Words left unsaid can weigh on us. Grief researchers have found that feeling something was left unsaid is linked to a harder grief, especially when it causes a lot of distress. A simple "thank you" or "I love you" now can lighten that load. And if something does go unsaid, it isn't too late. Letters, quiet conversations at a graveside, and hospice bereavement support can all still help. (Study)

Music and keepsakes help too, though the research there is gentler. Studies of hospice music therapy show promise for comfort and mood. Bereaved families often describe handprints and other keepsakes as treasured connections, a bond that continues after a death.

A Few Gentle Rules for the Bedside

• Ask first. "Would you like to…?" keeps them in charge of their own time.
• Keep it short. Ten good minutes is better than an hour that wears them out.
• Check with the nurse before lotion, scents, food or drink, or keepsakes. What's safe can change day to day.
• It's okay to just sit. Holding a hand and being there is already a gift.

For Hospice Teams

The companion Time Together: Staff Guide is written for nurses, aides, social workers, chaplains, and volunteers. It includes:

• The research and the grief psychology in plain language, with an honest note on how strong each finding is
• When and how to offer activities, matched to prognosis
• Consent and cultural care
• Keepsake safety notes and a bedside legacy kit checklist
• Grief risk flags to pass to the bereavement team
• How to support reconciliation conversations without pushing

Find the Staff Guide in our free Hospice Staff Library. Hospices and care providers are welcome to print unaltered copies of the family guide and hand them out to families free of charge.

More Free Help

• Your hospice team: nurses, social workers, and chaplains are there for the whole family, day and night
• CaringInfo: free caregiving and end-of-life guides
• StoryCorps: a free app for recording conversations
• American Music Therapy Association
• The Dougy Center: support for grieving children and teens

You can download the free Time Together family guide here.