Everything They'll Need to Know: The Book I Wish We'd Made Together

Picture someone you love standing in your kitchen a week after you're gone. The mail is piling up. A bill came for something they've never heard of. Someone at the funeral home asked a question nobody could answer, and now they're opening drawers, hoping you left a note.

I make things for families who are living through that week. Funeral programs, printables, guides. And the same thing keeps coming up: the hardest part is often not the goodbye itself. It's the guessing. Where is the policy? Who do we call? What would they have wanted? My husband told me his wishes, and I'm grateful every day that he did. So much else, he carried quietly, and I'm still finding it years later.

So I wrote a book to end the guessing. Here's what's in it, who it's for, and a few pages you can print free today, whether you ever buy the book or not.

A Guide and a Planner, Together

Most planners I looked at were pages of blank lines. You open one, see "Accounts" and a box, and close it again, because what are you supposed to write?

This book works differently. Each part starts with guide pages: why this thing matters, how to find it, and what to watch for. Right after them come the fill-in pages, so you can read a little and write it down in the same place. Every fill-in page has an example answer in soft gray, so you're never staring at an empty line.

It's written for two people at once. Pages marked For you are for planning now. Pages marked For your family are for afterward. The very first page your family turns to is called "For My Family: Start Here," and it tells them, gently, what to do first and what can wait.

What's Inside

There are 14 parts. Each one opens with a family page called "Before Anything Else."

1. Start Here: the first 72 hours, the first 30 days, and a Ten-Minute Page if that's all you ever do
2. People to Call: your go-to person, who hears the news first, and who keeps your life running
3. Your Goodbye: burial, cremation or something else, a service or none at all, donation, veterans, paying for it
4. Who's in Charge: the four jobs, the papers behind them, and getting help without spending a lot
5. Children: who would raise them, where their papers are, and a day in their life
6. Money and Bills: money coming in, every bill and autopay, and what your family doesn't owe
7. The House (or Apartment): for owners and renters, and how the house actually works
8. Insurance and Benefits: life insurance from everywhere, Social Security, the VA, health coverage
9. Vehicles, Keys and Things: titles, mystery keys, safe deposit boxes, firearms, who gets what
10. Pets: who takes them, a wallet card, permission to treat
11. Your Digital Life: the phone, email, legacy contacts and photos
12. Your Story and Your Message: obituary notes, letters, and "open when" letters
13. If You're Already Looking: for families where no one wrote it down
14. Keeping It Safe and Current: where to keep it, who gets a copy, and when to update it

At the back are a Quick Help page ("If this, try this"), a plain-words glossary, help lines, and a Find Your State's Rules page. There's also a fridge card and wallet cards to cut out, and letter pages you can cut out and seal for the people you love.

A Few Things I Was Careful About

It never asks for passwords. The book asks where things are and who to call. It never asks for passwords, PINs, full account numbers or Social Security numbers, because a book can be lost. Instead, Part 11 shows a safer way to leave one way in, and how to set up the legacy contact features that phones and email accounts now offer, like Apple's Legacy Contact and Google's Inactive Account Manager.

Benefits are treated as claims, not just assets. Some help only comes if someone asks. For example, Social Security has a one-time $255 payment for a surviving spouse or child, and it has to be applied for within two years. The book walks your family through what to file and where.

It works wherever you live. Many rules change from state to state. Each time, the book gives the rule that works everywhere first, then points to a checked national list for your state. California details, where they help, sit in small boxes.

The facts were checked. Everything was checked in October 2026, and the sources are listed at the back so you can look for yourself.

For Families Who Are Already Looking

Maybe you're reading this because it's too late to ask. I'm so sorry. Part 13 is for you.

It walks you through a calm way to search: clues already in the house, how to check whether the funeral was already paid for, and the free official tools for finding what was left behind. That includes the NAIC Life Insurance Policy Locator for lost policies and MissingMoney.com for unclaimed money held by states. It also covers savings bonds, old pensions, shot records and military records you can get again, finding the will, and how to spot paid "finders" and scams. Many of these still work years later.

Who It's For

Everyone, really. Married, partnered, single, or widowed. Blended families and LGBTQ+ families, with room for chosen names and pronouns. Renters and owners. Parents of little ones and people who live alone. Veterans and their families. People caring for an aging parent, or for someone they love in hospice. Any faith, or none. People who want a big service, and people who want no service at all.

It also has pages for situations most planners skip: unmarried partners, family who doesn't always get along, private pages and sealed letters, what to do if you're not safe at home, and what to do if your memory or health is changing. There's even a section on helping someone you love fill in theirs, if a parent or partner wants to do this but can't do it alone.

You don't need money, a lawyer or a filing system to start. You need a pen and an evening, or ten minutes at a time.

Free Pages From the Book

A few pages are free to print here, whether or not you have the book. Use them, share them, put one on the fridge.

• The Ten-Minute Page: the one page to fill in if you only do one thing.
• The First 72 Hours: what to do first, what can wait, and your rights at the funeral home, on one page.
• My Goodbye at a Glance: your wishes for your goodbye, and who carries them out.
• Wallet and Fridge Cards: "If something happens to me, call..."
• Pet Emergency Set: a "Pets Live Here" door sign, pet wallet cards and a Permission to Treat page.

Start Small

You don't have to finish this book, and you don't have to do it in order. Some pages will be easy. Some will be hard, and it's okay to close the book and come back another day. Skip anything that doesn't fit your life.

If you only do one more thing, write the letter. My husband told me his wishes, but there was no letter, and I'd give anything to have one. Part 12 helps you write yours.

One Page at a Time

This book is my own guide too. I'm still filling in mine.

Every page you fill in is one less thing someone you love will have to guess. And someday, on the hardest day they'll ever have, they'll open it and find you there, still taking care of them.

More Help

• Planning Your Own Funeral: A Gentle Guide
• When Someone Dies Unexpectedly: What to Do in the First 72 Hours
• What to Gather Before a Loved One Dies
• How to Write a Legacy Letter
• Honor and Memory: A Book for Veterans to Leave Their Story, Wishes, and Words
• Free Printables

Please note: This book and these printables are general information, not legal, financial, tax or medical advice. Rules vary by state. For your own situation, please talk with an attorney, a tax professional, or the office named (such as Social Security or the VA).

If you are in crisis, call or text 988. In an emergency, call 911. Veterans and their families: dial 988, then press 1; text 838255; or chat at VeteransCrisisLine.net.

With care,
C. Lindorfer, Noted & Charmed