Planning a military funeral often means figuring out logistics — honors, paperwork, timing. But there's another question that catches a lot of families off guard: what do you actually say? What gets read at the service? What do you say to the widow standing in front of you?
This guide is here for the words themselves — a few prayers and readings, common hymns, a simple order of service, and some honest guidance on what to say when you don't know what to say.
Building the program itself? Our Military & Patriotic Funeral Program Templates are Canva-editable and ready to print.
Prayers and Readings for a Military Funeral
These are widely used at military services and work well whether the family leans religious or wants something simpler.
A Nondenominational Reading
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" is one of the most widely read poems at nonreligious and military services. Its imagery — the wind, the snow, the autumn rain — speaks to presence rather than absence, which is part of why it resonates at services without a specific faith tradition. You can find the full text easily online or through your officiant; it's brief enough to read comfortably in under a minute.
The 23rd Psalm
The 23rd Psalm ("The Lord is my shepherd...") is the most commonly used scripture reading at military and veteran services across denominations. Its steady, reassuring rhythm and its themes of protection through hardship make it a natural fit for a service honoring someone who served. Most Bibles and funeral programs include the full text.
A Prayer for the Fallen
A short prayer commending the person to eternal rest and asking comfort for those who mourn works well read at the graveside, just before or after the honors are rendered. Many officiants have a version they use regularly — it's worth asking what they'd recommend, since a familiar, well-practiced prayer often lands better than something unfamiliar read for the first time.
Hymns Commonly Played or Sung at Military Funerals
If the family is choosing music for the service, these are among the most requested at military funerals. Titles are listed here as a starting point — your officiant, funeral home, or musician will have the full arrangements.
"Amazing Grace" — likely the single most requested hymn at military funerals, often played on bagpipes at the graveside.
"Eternal Father, Strong to Save" — known as the Navy Hymn, traditional for any service member with a Navy, Marine Corps, or Coast Guard connection.
"Battle Hymn of the Republic" — a common choice for services with a patriotic, ceremonial tone.
"How Great Thou Art" — a widely used hymn across denominations, often chosen for its steady, comforting melody.
"On Eagle's Wings" — frequently used in Catholic services, with lyrics that speak directly to protection and rest.
"Nearer, My God, to Thee" — a traditional choice with deep historical ties to military and naval services.
What to Say to a Military Family
Most people don't struggle with knowing they should say something — they struggle with what. A few honest guidelines:
Keep it simple. "I'm so sorry for your loss" or "Thank you for your service to this family" says enough. You don't need a speech.
Avoid "at least" statements. "At least they served with honor" or "at least it was quick" can land as minimizing, even when well-intentioned. Grief doesn't need a silver lining attached to it.
If you knew them, share one specific memory. "I remember when he taught me to fish" means more than "he was a great man" — specificity is what makes condolences feel real instead of generic.
It's okay to acknowledge you don't have the right words. "I don't know what to say, but I'm here" is honest, and honesty is usually what people actually want in that moment.
Don't ask for details about how they died, especially at the service itself. If the family wants to share, they will.
Follow their lead on tone. Some military families want the day to feel solemn and formal; others want stories and even some laughter. Watch how the family is carrying the day, and match it rather than setting it.
A Simple Order of Service
Military funerals vary by branch, family preference, and venue, but this basic structure covers most services:
Prelude music as guests arrive.
Opening words or welcome from the officiant.
An opening prayer or reading.
Eulogy or remarks from family and friends.
A second reading or hymn.
Military honors — the honor guard, flag folding, and Taps.
Closing prayer or benediction.
Recessional as guests are dismissed.
If there's a graveside component with full military honors, that typically happens separately, either immediately after or at a later time at the cemetery.
Once you know what you want to include, our Military & Patriotic Funeral Program Templates give you a program built to hold it all — Canva-editable, with space for the order of service, readings, and photos.
Looking for eulogy or obituary wording too? You may find our Military Eulogy Examples and Military and Veteran Obituary Examples helpful too.
Sending comfort as you find the words for a service that honors a life of service. — Noted & Charmed